10 Tips On How To Get Over The Need To Be Right

"I am right and you are wrong! Na na na!" This seems to be the words of a child that was always bugging you back in kindergarten. He always felt the need to be right, and the need to point out to you that if he is right, you must definitely be wrong. Do you remember this kid?

Well, children are children, and they don't know better, but the bad thing is that children turn into adults and their childish ""I am right and you are wrong! Na na na!" attitude, turns into a "Don't even say it, because it's surely wrong." attitude or "I told you so!". I think we all had to deal with this at least once in the past. But what happens if we are the ones that feel this need to be right?

How can we get rid of it and why would we want to do that?

Here are 4 reasons why you would want to get over the need to be right:

1. No one likes to hear the "I told you so!" remark. We all hate that. By telling someone this phrase, you are pointing out that you feel that you are smarter than anyone else and as a result, the others are "less smarter". And no one likes that.

This attitude "helps" you alienate yourself from people. People will try to avoid you as much as they can, because they know what you are going to say before you even say it: "I am right and you are wrong". Maybe you won't use these exact words, but the effect is the same.

2. You are only seeing the world in white and black. You will never get to see the wonderful colors that hide behind the "Need to be right" attitude.

3. Because you are too busy showing people that they are wrong and you are right, a multitude of opportunities will just pass you by. You won't even know they were there, until someone else grabs them and uses them to he's advantage.

4. You will not learn new things because you are stuck on that attitude. A lot of people that could help you with your work or personal development, will just pass you by, because you are so stubborn in your own thinking. You will be missing on so much potential growth! Because you will be too preoccupied to say what you have to say, you won't pay any attention to what others are saying and you won't learn nothing new.

If you found these 4 reasons enough to demand a change in your attitude, then here is a helping hand for you to get over the need to be right. Read the following 10 tips and use them to change your thinking.

10 tips to get over the need to be right

1. The 3 minutes mark

A great exercise that will help you get over the need to be right, is this:

Whenever you start talking, take a look at the clock and make it a rule for yourself to stop talking if you pass the 3 minutes mark. This need to be right makes you want to talk on and on, and if you consciously stop this, and discipline yourself to stop talking after 3 minutes and let the other person talk too, you will brake this bad habit.

If the 3 minutes mark doesn't do the trick, after you have tried it at least 5 times, than make it a 2 minutes mark instead. Remember, don't give up if it doesn't work the first time or the second! Give it time! Your habit needed time to develop, maybe even years, so getting rid of it will also take some time.

2. Is this any good for me?

Ask yourself this: "Does my being right benefit me in any way except making me feel good?" Think about this for a moment. Be completely honest and if you can't find anything helpful about this habit, maybe it's time to bury it.

3. Are you a little scared?

Feeling the need to be right often means a fear of being wrong. You have nothing to fear! We all learn from out mistakes! Actually, if you look at history and read autobiographies of known people, you will convince yourself that the greatest successes come only after you have done something wrong and learned from it. So, don't be afraid to be wrong. Learn from it. If being wrong seems terrifying to you, you should hit it where it hurts and do the following:

This may seem awkward to you, but make it a habit of being wrong! At least for a while, do your best at being wrong, and let others find the right answers. They will feel good about themselves, you will slowly get over the need to be right and you will have made new friends. Try it out a couple of times and you will be amazed by the simplicity of this exercise.

4. Don't interrupt!

Don't interrupt others while they are talking! Do you like being interrupted when you are talking? Well, then don't do it to others. No one likes that. If you just can't stop yourself from interrupting others, than take this little painful, yet effective action: bite your tong! Bite it right when you are ready to interrupt, and the pain will stop you from doing that. Although this may seem a little odd, it really works! Try it and you will see!

5. What are you really saying?

Pay special attention to your body language. This is very important! Without even know it, you might put some people off even when you aren't saying anything. Your gestures are talking for you, so pay attention to what they are saying! For example, keep a sharp look for things like rolling your eyes when someone is talking.

This means that you disapprove with what the other person is saying or even with that person. If the person sees you, he/she will feel offended and probably won't hang around you anymore. You have to take note of these kind of reactions and stop them before they go live and hurt someone's feelings.

6. Focus

If you feel this need to correct someone or prove that he/she is wrong, find something else to focus on. Try to focus on what the other person is saying and make a huge change in your attitude. How about you don't say "You are wrong!" anymore? What if you actually pay attention to the conversation and search for reasons that will lead you to say "You are absolutely right!"

Try to search for reasons why the other person might be right. In the past, you probably did the other way around, but if you want more friends, better relationships and respect from others, then do your best to do this. Don't just say they are right, without even knowing why is that. Instead, focus your total attention on the words of the speaker and ask yourself: "Could he/she be right?"

7. Summarize

When you disagree with someone's opinion, do it with stile. Summarize the other person's point of view before you say something bad about it. By summarizing you will actually better understand what they were trying to say and you will sometimes see something that you didn't see before. This could make you actually agree with the other person's idea, just because you understood it better.

8. The truth is...

Keep in mind that the truth is relative. What may be right today, may be wrong tomorrow! This is why you shouldn't hurry and say that you are right and the others are all wrong. It could turn out to be the other way around.

9. Let people learn their own lessons

You have to learn to give people a chance to learn their own lessons. This is specially useful for parents that sometimes feel the need to be right when talking to their children. Just because someone is older than the other person, doesn't always mean that he/she can understand the other person and tell them what to do.

Children, like all people, need to make some mistakes before they can learn a lesson and it's often much better that they go through an experience and learn from it. This way they will remember the lesson for all their life, where if someone just told them they shouldn't do this or that, they won't learn the lesson as well.

10. Walk the talk

Do your best to align whatever you say to whatever you do. This way people will see that you walk the talk and they will trust you and respect you more. They will listen to what you have to say, and you won't feel that desire to be right all the time, because you have nothing to prove to others. They already know that you are a man of your word.

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I embrace you,
Razvan Dobre

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