What does disappointment really mean? Disappointment means a state, feeling or emotion of being defeated in an expectation or a hope. But I guess you already know what it means, because you surely had to go through disappointment more than once in your life.
But, why is disappointment so powerful sometimes, making us feel as if there's no tomorrow? And how can disappointment be dealt with, when it shows his ugly face into your life?
Next time when disappointment comes into your life try to fight back using these 10 ways:
1. Why are you disappointed?What happened that made you feel disappointed? Is it because you were expecting more from this situation? Did you take too much time in doing something and that's why you feel disappointed?
The reason(s) for your disappointment could be anything. Only you know the answer to this question and you have to find it, because you can't fight disappointment if you don't know exactly why you are disappointed?
If you discover the real reason why you are disappointed, and not some phony reason that you think is responsable, you will feel and have a great power over your state of disappointment. You will then see that disappointment isn't that powerful after all, if you know how to hit back. And you will be hitting back. Hard.
2. Analyze your expectations
You could be disappointed because of your expectations, and this is usually the main reason for disappointment. Maybe you just set yourself some very high expectations, and the results were far from them. You got yourself mentally prepared for a huge win, and all you finally received was a modest one.
If this is the case for you, you must see if you're expectations were too high in the first place. It is possible that you have a tendency of making high expectations, and that's not a bad thing, just that your expectations must, at all time, be backed up by some kind of proof that you are able to meet those expectations. If you are not sure that you will meet your expectations, you probably won't, so it's better to re-set them in order to achieve them.
Remember, that your goal is to succeed, achieve your goal(s) and get things done. It doesn't help you at all, if you were to achieve half your goal when you should have achieved it all. It's far better to expect achieving half and making that happen, than to expect a lot more and achieve a lot less.
And think of it this way: If you want to score 20 goals for your team in 30 matches, and you achieve that goal, you will gain a great level of confidence and you will be happy that you completed what you set out to do. This will allow you to set higher and higher goals in the future and you have a great chance of achieving them as well.
But, if you set out to score 40 goals in 30 matches, it could be quite difficult. And if you only score 10, you will get frustrated and angry. This is when disappointment will get the best of you. It's best to set easier, but exciting goals and achieve them, and in time grow to a higher level. Think about this next time you decide to set a goal or an expectation.
3. What could I have done different?
Ask yourself "Is there something that I could have done to change anything? What would the result had been if I would had done this in another way? Would I still be disappointed?" Asking yourself this is sometimes hard, because you may feel so down and disappointed, that this may seem too hard to even try. But if you want to defeat disappointment and feel good again, you must do this.
Write down your answers and analyze them carefully. What conclusions can you take from what you wrote? Why didn't you do this in another way? Was it a mistake from the beginning that made you fail or did something happen along the way?
Knowing the answers to these questions means growing and preparing yourself for success the next time you set yourself a goal. Also, analyzing and finding the answers means that you will act differently next time something familiar comes your way. You will be better prepared and your success chances grow considerably.
4. Be flexible
Being flexible means being prepared for anything. You have to learn from your mistakes and be willing to change your point of view if you feel that you are heading towards failure and disappointment. Being flexible means being honest with yourself.
If you realize along the way, that you've made a mistake and it's possible that you don't reach your goals, you don't carry on and start crying because you are almost sure you are going to fail. Instead, you stop and reanalyze the situation and set new rules and goals that can be achieved.
If you learn how to be flexible you will increase your chances for success and you will be prepared if disappointment comes your way.
5. What are you thinking?
Take note of your thoughts when you go throw a disappointment. Are you mostly saying things like "this always happens to me" "I'm a lost case"? If you are, stop. Don't even think about saying this anymore. Just think: "Is this thinking helping you?" You will see that you aren't helping at all. Instead you are becoming even more disappointed and angry.
I know that when we feel disappointed, we sometimes feel the need to be angry by saying things like "I'm a lost case" we feel better and we feel we have an excuse for our failure. This feels good for a while, but there is a catch: you become what you think. You will become a lost case if you keep telling yourself this. You will be even more disappointed next time when something bad happens.
You won't be making any progress with this thinking. If you want to win the war against disappointment, you have to show patience and fight bravely in every battle. The one that wins the most battles wins the war. I only hope that you realize the importance of each negative though that you decide to put into your head. It could lead to many lost battles and you could even lose the war because of some simple, apparently inoffensive words that you feed yourself with.
6. Realize the truth
The truth is that you can't control everything that happens in your life. Some things are just not possible to change. Realizing this will help you get over disappointment faster. You have to think about whether or not it was in your power to change the course of what happened.
If you find out that you couldn't, this means that you should feel alright, because you did all that was possible and you just had no way of changing the end result. You have no reasons to be disappointed.
If you realize there was something you could have done, it's best to write it down so you don't forget it next time you go throw a similar situation.
7. Maybe this is bad. Or maybe not.
Maybe you shouldn't feel so disappointed. Maybe what happened to you is not a bad thing after all. It's like that story with the young man that broke his leg. He was so disappointed and angry, but his father told him to wait and see if this is so bad after all. After a week, a war started in that country and all men that were able to fight, had to go to battle. The young man could walk so he stayed home. Many people died in the war and other came home mutilated.
The young man's led cured in a couple of months and he realized that his father was right. Most of the times, what we see as a bad thing or disappointment is actually a good thing in disguise. So, do yourself a favor, and next time you feel like being disappointed, wait to see if you should feel glad instead.
I'm pretty sure that you have already experienced some situations where you felt lost and angry at first, but in the end it turned out just right. Maybe you just didn't stop to think and tie the two things together: the bad thing that happen at first and the good thing that it turned out to be. We often see these two things as being different, with no connection between them, when they really are in a great connection. Just pay attention next time, and try to see the connection.
8. Talk to someone about it
If you just can't seem to get over disappointment, maybe it's best to talk to a friend or someone that you know that cares for you, is willing to listen and will help you get through this. Be careful to whom you talk to, as this person can make or brake you, even if he/she has no intention of doing so. Chose someone that has gone through his/her own share of disappointments and has experience in getting out of these sort of situations.
Don't talk to someone that has no idea of what you are talking about, someone that is great at talking but just that, or someone that is predominantly a negative thinker. Avoid these kind of people as they will probably make you feel even more disappointed. You should also pay attention to what other people are telling you. If you are not a good listener, then maybe a couple of listening skills exercises will be of help.
9. Shift your focus
What does this means? For example, if you and a couple of friends decided to go to the cinema tonight, but at the last minute something happens and this meeting is canceled, you can use this tip to get out of that dreadful disappointment state. You could use this time to play with your child, read a book or do anything that you have postponed doing.
By shifting your focus, you take advantage of your time and you don't waste it on disappointment. There's no sense in crying over spilled milk. You better go and look for a towel and wipe it out and put yourself another glass and drink it.
10. Walk on
A disappointment is not an end result, it is just a single step towards success. It doesn't have to be something bad. Only you can consider it as being bad. And you can also learn from it and see that it is a good thing after all.
The only way you will ever get over disappointment and be able to fight it whenever it comes your way, is by learning from your past mistakes, keeping note of those mistakes and applying the right solutions next time.
Disappointment is as powerful as you allow it to be. If you restrain it and learn from it, you will surprisingly realize that disappointment is like a good friend: always willing to teach and help you grow.
What do you think about this article? The only way I can improve and write better articles for you, is if you give me feedback like rating this article and commenting on it! Thank you!
I embrace you,
Razvan Dobre
If you liked this article, you can rate it and share it with your friends by clicking the share button bellow! You can digg it, stumble it, send it as an email, and much more! Thank you for sharing!
Click here to read more...
.jpg)
by Jonas Ridderstråle and Kjell A. Nordström and all I have to say is: what a great book! 5 stars all the way!
a movie that I highly recommend, if you didn't watch already! The whole 
is amazing, but this part is just out of this earth! It just is that good! The actors, the lines, the wonderful New Zealand scenery, everything. Anyway, this movie gave me a great feeling, so I tried to see if I could make it one of my secret weapons for motivation.
and 
Both parts are extraordinary and you should definitely read them at least 3 times (you will see why). You can even get the audio version of the book 
